• Courtney Esther

Past Birthday Reflections

Updated: Jan 15, 2020

I had a birthday recently and a few people asked me "how does it feel to be ...?"

So I've been reflecting on that question and I thought I would share...

I feel the same. I feel blessed. I feel empowered.

I feel the same I've always felt. I am still the beautiful authentic gypsy soul I've always been. Adventurous, brave, kind, fiercely loyal, sensitive, and giving. I've learned that I'm attracted to really random things (acoustic guitar, surfing, soccer, Israel, food documentaries) but once I love something that love never fades. I've learned that some activities lose their shine (drinking in a crowded bar) and some things never do (watching the sunrise). I've learned that my inner voice wants everything healthy and in order while my soul wants to run reckless and free. These things will never change.

I feel blessed to be older and wiser. I feel blessed to have such amazing people in my life. I feel blessed to have put a lot of the pieces together. I spent 20 some odd years trying to figure out how to honor my intense spiritually and I finally found yoga, energy work, and Judaism. I feel blessed that I can practice the version of yoga and energy healing and Judaism that fit into my life. My own versions. I feel blessed that I'm writing my own story and no one can tell me how it should go. I only hear the beat of my own drum. I feel blessed that I've learned what I want and need in a life partner and what makes me feel fulfilled in my friendships. I feel blessed I've learned the power of intense self love. I feel empowered to move past fear and choose love. I have always known what would make my soul happy but sometimes I've struggled to put the pieces together. It may always be a struggle. But I feel empowered here and now to move towards a more fulfilling life. I feel empowered to take time and space when I need it, although I have realized my approach needs some tweaking. I feel empowered to move forward knowing that the more I learn and experience and try on different hats the more I learn about the world and what I love. I always struggled to answer the question "what is your favorite food?" until I discovered baby chicken shawarma and kibbeh soup. I thought I loved dancing to mainstream electronic music until I discovered psytrance and felt my soul align with the universe. I thought I disliked watching sports until I discovered surfing and soccer. With each new experience and each new person I encounter I get to learn more about what fills me. What is more empowering than that?

Lastly, I feel fulfilled. My life is so full of love and blessings. The abundance of good music, art, laughter, love, and genuinely good people that continuously surround me is astounding.

I Truly Am Blessed

I'll just take this moment to send one mass thank you to all the #amazing people in my life. You never cease to support my #wild #crazy #dreams and #adventures even when you don't understand my very #free #spirit.

Wishing all of you so much love and so many blessings. 💕

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